Hi! How are you?” The woman
smiled as she took the seat beside me. She had to lower herself slowly,
squeezing her ample bottom into the seat, filling all available space.
Positioning herself comfortably, she plopped her enormous arm on our common
armrest. Her immensity saturated the space around us, shrinking me and my seat
into insignificance.
I cringed and reclined towards
the window. She leaned towards me and repeated her greeting in an upbeat,
friendly voice. Her face towered above my head, forcing me to turn to look at
her. “Hi,” I replied with obvious loathing. I turned away to stare out the
cabin window, sulking silently about the long hours of discomfort I was going
to experience with this monster beside me.
She nudged me with her meaty
arm. “My name is Laura. I’m from Britain . How about you? Japan ?” “Malaysia ,” I
barked.
“I’m so sorry! Will you accept
my heartfelt apology? Come, shake my hand. If we’re going to spend six hours
side-by-side on this flight, we’d better be friends, don’t you think?” A palm
waved in front of my face. I shook the hand reluctantly, still silent. Laura
started a conversation with me, taking no notice of my unfriendly reactions.
She talked excitedly about herself and her trip to Hong
Kong to see her friends. She rattled off a list of things she was
going to buy for her students in the boarding school where she was teaching.
I gave her one-word answers to
her questions about me. Unperturbed by my coldness, she nodded as she made
appreciative comments to my answers. Her voice was warm and caring. She was
considerate and obliging when we were served drinks and meals, making sure that
I had room to maneuver in my seat. “I don’t want to clobber you with my
elephant size!” she said with utmost sincerity.
To my surprise, her face which
repulsed me hours before now opened into extraordinary smiles, lively and calm
at the same time. I couldn’t help but let down my guard slowly.
Laura was an interesting
conversationalist. She was well read in many subjects from philosophy to
science. She turned a seemingly unimportant subject into something to explore
and understand. Her comments were humorous and inspirational. When our topic
turned to cultures, I was pleasantly surprised by her intelligent comments and
well-thought-out analysis.
During our conversation, Laura
managed to make every cabin crew who served us walk away laughing at her jokes.
When a flight attendant was clearing our plates, Laura cracked several jokes
about her size. The flight attendant roared with laughter as she grabbed
Laura’s hand, “You really make my day!”
For the next few minutes, Laura
listened attentively and gave pointers to the flight attendant’s weight
problem. The grateful attendant said before she rushed off, “I’ve got to work.
I’ll come back later and talk to you about it.” I asked Laura, “‘have you ever
thought about losing some weight?”
“No. I’ve worked hard to get
this way. Why would I want to give it up?” “You aren’t worried about
cardiovascular diseases that come with being overweight?”
“Not at all. You only get the
diseases if you’re worried about your weight all the time. You see
advertisements from slimming centres that say, ‘Liberate yourself from your
extra baggage so that you are free to be yourself.’ It’s rubbish! You’re
liberated only if you’re comfortable about who you are, and what you look like
any time of the day and anytime of the year! Why would I want to waste my time
on slimming regimes when I have so many other important things to do and so
many people to be friends with? I eat healthily and walk regularly; I’m this
size because I am born to be big! There is more to life than worrying about
weight all day long.”
She sipped at her wine.
“Besides, God gives me so much happiness that I need a bigger body to hold all
of it! Why would I lose weight to lose my happiness?” Taken aback by her
reasoning, I chuckled.
Laura continued. “Folks often
see me as a fat lady with big bosoms, big thighs and a big bottom that no man
would even bother to cast a glance at. They see me as a slob. They think I’m
lazy and have no willpower. They’re wrong.” She held up her glass to a passing
flight attendant. “More of this magnificent wine please.” She smiled sweetly at
the attendant. “Great service from your crew. May God bless all of you.”
She turned to me, “I’m actually
a slim person inside. I’m so full of energy that people won’t be able to keep
up with me. This extra flesh is here to slow me down; otherwise I’ll be running
everywhere chasing after men!” “Do men chase after you?” I asked jokingly. “Of course
they do. I’m happily married but men still keep proposing to me.
“Most of them have relationship
problems and they need someone to confide in. For some reason, they like to
talk to me. I think I should have been a counselor instead of a school teacher!”
Laura paused before she said
thoughtfully, “You know, the relationship between men and women is so
complicated. Women worship men and call them, ‘Honey’ until they find out they
have been lied to, and then they turn into bitter gourds! Men love women so
much that they see them as their soul mates until they look at their credit
card bills, and then women become devils with tridents!”
Laura’s enthralling conversation
had turned the flight into something thoroughly enjoyable. I was also
fascinated by the way people were drawn to her. By the end of the flight,
almost half the cabin crew was standing near the aisle by us, laughing and
joking with Laura. The passengers around us joined in the merry-making too.
Laura was the centre of attention, filling the cabin with delightful warmth.
When we waved goodbye to each
other at the arrival lounge at Hong Kong’s Kai Tak Airport
I was stunned, as the
realization set in: Laura was the most beautiful woman I had ever met in my
life.
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