Emedinews Inspiration: Her Struggle…Part 2

That was the first night after our married life when we slept in separate rooms. All the night I could not sleep as only one thing, my fate if Sultan was HIV-positive, was churning my brain. I was also sure that Sultan too remained restless all that night. Next day when we reached to the ICTC, I was asked to sit outside while Sultan went inside the doctor’s chamber. When I went inside, one glimpse of his face was enough to tell me that his test for HIV was positive. Suddenly I felt that I was about to faint. But I had to face that cruel disclosure so I sat near Sultan silently. The Doctor told me that AIDS had treatment and the quality of life and survival could be improved with treatment. Doctor advised me too to give a blood sample. After my signing of an 'Informed Consent'. Doctor told me if I was HIV negative in the first test then my next test would be done after three months. We both did as doctor advised to do.

After reaching home I blamed Sultan that he knew about his disease even before our marriage but he politely refused it. We quarreled on this issue for some time. And reached office separately, a rare incident after marriage. I could not work properly that day. Suddenly my happy married life had turned into a hell and at least I was feeling the wrath of it. No argument of Sultan could convince me that he was innocent and infection entered his body through blood transfusion.

Next day I was declared negative to the test. It was a surprise. How it was possible? We regularly had sexual contact without the protection of Nirodh. I asked the doctor about this. She told me that it was Possible, as the chances of HIV transmission through sexual contact was only one percent. It meant that if an HIV-positive person would make contact with one hundred persons the chances are that HE or SHE will transmit it to one person. The doctor told me that there are 95 percent chances of HIV transmission through infected blood transfusion. Doctor counseled us (post test counseling). She said that I could safely live with Sultan. We could use same utensils, share same bed and same toilets. We can hug each other, kiss each other.....but practice safe sex. Doctor advised Sultan for CD4 count to be performed for the treatment of the disease. She advised him to take more nutritious food, exercise regularly. She advised Sultan to visit ICTC at least every month. Then the doctor requested Sultan to wait outside and told me that now it was my responsibility to keep Sultan cheerful and out of 'intrinsic' stigma (stigma which arises from inside and it is like inferiority complex) as he feels guilty complex. I asked her how could we have a baby when we have to use some protection now. She said IVF [in vitro fertilization] could solve our problem or we could adopt a baby.

I asked the doctor how was the infected blood transfused to Sultan. She told that five years back there were no provisions for screening blood for HIV. Later it became necessary. Moreover if donor of blood or body tissues or organs has a recent infection of HIV he or she might be in window period i.e. His or Her blood would test negative for HIV but HE or SHE still might transmit HIV infection to the recipient of blood. .

After reaching home that day I was a little relaxed as I did not have the infection. But another big question was for our future life and Sultan’s life. But, first I had to investigate whether Sultan was telling a truth that he was transfused blood five years back. Only then it was to be decided that we were going to live under same roof.

Next day I took a leave from my office and reached the hospital where Sultan told me that he was transfused blood. After one hour of study of their old records one of the hospital people told me that Sultan was right. He actually was transfused blood as he was bleeding profusely from his nostrils. His nasal bone was fractured . From there I reached to my mother's home. I told her each and every thing in detail . She immediately advised me for a divorce. She blamed Sultan that he knew about his disease before marriage and on this basis I could get divorce. But I was mentally not in a position to take a decision.

I returned home and started thinking with a very cool brain. I could live with Sultan but How it was possible to make sexual contact with a person which was having HIV infection even when we were using condom? How long he was going to live? Should we adopt a baby? In IVF technique doctors will use the sperms of a person other than Sultan? Maa was advising about divorce? But how could I do that when to marry Sultan was my decision? Nobody forced me to marry Sultan. And if I had been HIV-positive and Sultan was HIV-negative then would Sultan be correct in divorcing me? How could I leave Sultan now when he needed me most? But I was still HIV negative and young and could marry again easily. Sultan returned from office. I told him that I went to the hospital and he was telling a truth. Sultan sat near me and hugged me and said that he was going to a lawyer next day and was asking him to prepare papers of divorce . Then I told him about the same advice of my Maa. Sultan advised me to think over it peacefully and to take appropriate time for it.

I thought it peacefully several days and reached on the decision that I was not going for divorce to Sultan. More over we would have our own baby, No IVF no adoption. In the process if I got the HIV infection it hardly matters to me. When I and Sultan decided to marry we took an oath that we would remain inseparable there after whatever might be the circumstances. This tiny virus should not dent our promises made to each other.

Next day we went to the ICTC center . CD4 count was 410/cubic cc and there was no need to start 'antiretroviral' treatment immediately. I told the doctor that we planned to have a baby of our own , and no IVF no adoption. What are the chances of baby being HIV-negative or positive. She told us that if we took every precaution even there are about 2 percent chances of the baby acquiring the infection. Though Sultan opposed it, he agreed to have sexual relations without condom till I became pregnant. We had unprotected sex up to three months when my next test for HIV was scheduled . I went to the ICTC center for HIV test. My blood sample was taken after 'Informed Consent'. On the way to home I also gave a urine sample for pregnancy test as I missed my period.

Next day I went alone to collect my both test reports as Sultan had to go to a nearby city for official work. Both my reports were positive, I was pregnant as well as HIV-positive. It was shocking to me. But the decision had been mine. I had to live with this infection lifelong. But what about the baby? Let Sultan come. I waited eagerly for Sultan. But he did not come. The news of his death came. His car met with an accident when he was returning home. He died on the spot.

To be continued...........

(Contributed by Dr.Anil Kumar Jain)